Book Talk: Book blogger vs the real world
What I love about the blogging world is that it feels like a safe place for me. I can rave about books I love, fangirl over upcoming releases, rant about bookish pet peeves, and push books on people like no other, and no one judges. We all love books, we've all been there, and I feel like I have had a lot of great conversations and made friends with people I've never met in person.
Most of my "real life" friends know I'm a bookworm. Every birthday present since the age of five has involved books or gift cards for books or bookmarks. What my friends don't realize is just how much I read, and that I get review copies and ARCs from publishers. Sometimes I'm so excited about a book that I have an ARC of and I start recommending it to my friends and then they ask questions about how the whole blogging thing works and then comes the inevitable question:
Can I see your blog?
I don't know about you, but ironically my blog is my secret safe place. I feel like I can be completely honest about what I liked and didn't like and not be judged for it. With friends who know me in real life and who have a certain expectation or image of me, I'm a little nervous about them judging my reading tastes or my eloquence (and lack thereof) in my reviews. So many of my friends only read literature and classics and as much as I enjoy a good piece of classic or contemporary literature once in a while, I much prefer my books to be fun. I mostly read genre fiction because it's entertaining. I love being emotionally invested in characters and worlds, and I read books so that I can laugh and cry and think about all the what ifs. I feel like my more...literary...friends would judge my reading tastes and maybe even look down on me. I'm not ashamed that I mostly read genre fiction, but it still stings when someone tells you, "Oh yeah, you still read sci-fi and fantasy and all that, don't you?"
You, my readers, know who I am in the book sphere. Somehow I'm not as worried about what you bookworms and bloggers would think of me if you met me in real life as I am of real life friends discovering my blogger self. So far I've only met one blogger friend (Nikki from TWBI!) and it was so much fun. I felt like I could still be myself and the only difference was that I was freaking out in person instead of in all caps on twitter! I'm looking forward to going to an author signing or a conference at some point and getting to meet even more of you lovely people!
That sucks that you can't share your genre-love with your friends without feeling looked-down-on. My IRL friends like the same genres as I do, but I would say they don't read nearly as much. I'm with you on not wanting to share your blog- only my best friend, my mom, and my brother know about mine, and I like it that way. I call it my Fortress of Solitude/Bat Cave/Bag End, because in a way, my book-talking alter ego lives there.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Kritika!
~Litha Nelle
I think my father looked at my blog once and my wife checks it out occasionally. Other than that it is a separate world that I just don't bring up. Like you, people know I read and that is about it.
ReplyDeleteI have a few friends that checked out my blog, but like you I have different reading tastes from them so they aren't regular readers. It's a bummer that you'd feel looked down on because they all read more literary books. My issue is the opposite, my friends read trendy stuff like 50 shades and all that, so there's definitely nothing for us to chat about there. My other friends read very realistic fiction, stuff I could never get into, so I guess in a way my blog remains a safe space too. I can certainly respect you for wanting to keep it private though.
ReplyDeleteI know this feeling SO WELL. It's really weird sharing your blog with friends or family who already think they know you, but who don't know that side of you! But that feeling when you meet IRL the people you've already shared that side with? AMAZINGGGGG.
ReplyDeleteI do have a few friends that read SF/F and we exchange books all the time. Most of my friends are a little snobby about the books they read though. I'm glad you have more friends that enjoy the same books you do :)
ReplyDeleteHaha that's an amazing set of nicknames for your blog!
My roommate and a few friends know I have a book blog, but not too many others. It's not something I bring up if I can help it!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I'm not the only one with friends who have different reading tastes! I do have a few real-life friends I'd be comfortable sharing my blog with, but it's not a very big number haha
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad I'm not alone! Yeah, I never thought of it that way. I guess it's true; people know I'm a bookworm but they don't know exactly how important my books are to me or exactly what I read.
ReplyDeleteYES it was so amazing! I'm so glad I got to meet you in person and I'm really excited to meet more bloggers (eventually...when I'm no longer a broke college student lol)
YES! I know this feeling all too well. I think only one family member knows about my blog and that's it for real people. It just feels so weird telling people who aren't really all that into books like I am reading my blog. But with people in the book blogosphere, well we're all basically a gigantic circle of friends!
ReplyDeleteLaura @BlueEyeBooks
The way I see it is that anyone who judges me or looks down on me for my taste in books is not my friend. They're snobs that I used to know.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean... my blog isn't exactly secret but I never talk about it with IRL folks because I'm afraid they'll judge me based on what they find there instead of based on whatever our usual interactions are (like work or school or shared hobbies or whatever). The flip side of this is I feel a tiny bit sad when people I know IRL do know about my blog but don't care about checking it out at all. Damned if you do, damned if you don't I guess, haha.
ReplyDeleteYeah, we really are a gigantic circle of friends :D
ReplyDeleteHa that's a good way of putting it. I'm actually not that close to the "snobby" book people anymore even though we used to be really close when we were younger. I'm just glad I've found a few friends that do share my love of SF/F!
ReplyDeleteHmm I never thought about the flip side. I used to write short stories and that would happen so often! I'd be really scared to share my story with someone and then I'd finally get the courage to tell them about it but sometimes they wouldn't read it -____-
ReplyDeleteOh, I'm the same as you. Complete starngers can read my blog, but not people I actually know. Regardless of how supportive they'll be, it's not something I like to talk about if I'm honest. I'm not sure why though - I'm not ashamed of my blog, but I don't want people to judge me for it.
ReplyDeleteBeth x
www.thequietpeople.com